Wheel of Life keeps turning

We didn’t do the LGBT Pride Run. We woke up to a monsoon, and I just couldn’t get myself motivated to run in the rain.  Of course by racetime, it was a glorious day and I was kicking myself and feeling guilty for not struggle bussing through it.


I got over it.

and then my cat got sick.

Like really sick. She stopped eating and drinking and using the litter box. She was lethargic and sleepy and stopped coming downstairs most of the day, except to meow for treats (the ONLY thing she was eating).

Off to the vet.

They took her blood and tested it “in house”…. which told me this was more serious than I was hoping.

20 minutes later the results were in and…… Kidney Disease.

Her kidneys are failing and basically, she’s dying.

This was not the news I had hoped for, but based on my own research I was expecting it.

Some background-

17 years ago a friend’s sister rescued some kittens.  I had never had a pet of my own before (besides the family dog when I was a kid). I lived in a studio apartment in Rockland County, New York and had been cut off from my parents for reasons that are their own tale of woe. So I wanted a kitten, I wanted the black kitten that her sister rescued.

We went to Yonkers to  meet the new kitty and there were 2 cuties in the box, a black and a calico. Siblings.  I was set on the black one, but when I reached my hand in to take him out, he hissed and swatted at me and I immediately began rethinking my desire for a cat.

The sister dumped them (gently!) onto the floor and we chatted and probably had some wine….. next thing I know she points to my lap. I look down and lo and behold! The calico is curled up asleep on my leg.

She chose me. I named her Chloe. She was approximately 4-5 weeks old.

She has been with me through many, many moves… She’s been a snuggly little ball of fur.  She follows me wherever I go, meows for treats, and is occasionally a little bit crazy.

A true Calico.

Fast forward to 6 years ago….2011. She was diagnosed with Feline Diabetes. I’ve been giving her 2 shots of insulin every day for 6 years.

Then this week.

Kidney disease.

A pretty much life ending diagnosis.

She came home from the vet yesterday, she will need sub q fluids for the rest of her life.

Life expectancy is “months” according to the vet.

She also has a new heart murmur with a gallop rhythm.

Diabetes, kidney disease, heart disease. Our time is limited and I’m trying to make the most of whats left with lots of attention and snuggles and love.

In between bouts of hysterical crying.

She is my heart cat, my longest relationship, my love.

I don’t know how I will get along without her.


2 thoughts on “Wheel of Life keeps turning

  1. I’m so sorry. I’ve struggled with this many times as I’ve had like a million cats. One of my girls, back in 2001, was diagnosed with kidney failure and required subcu fluids (she was only 6, but the runt). I tried once to administer them but hurt her, then I decided I couldn’t do that to her so I had to say goodbye. I admire you for taking on this huge feat and I hope when the time comes, you’ll find peace in knowing you did everything you could. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the kind words. I was able to give the fluids last night, she didn’t seem to mind. I am just hoping to make her last months full of love…. and I think it will help me come to terms with it…. this is my first and only pet that was truly mine. (we have a dog, but while I love him, he’s mostly husbands). Life sure can suck sometimes. xo

      Liked by 1 person

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