I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 26.2

Guys. GUYS. GUUUUYYYYYSSSSSSS.

I’m sorry I dropped out of sight for a while.

Life got shitty. and Busy AF. Like, I’ve never been busier busy. Life kind of exploded all over my training plan.

I didn’t get in all the long runs I wanted to.

I didn’t feel ready.

I didn’t even want to go on race day.

My stomach hurt. My head ached. I felt unhappy.

But I got my ass there, and I did a thing!

SLOWLY.

My goal was 6 hours.

And that was a big, fat, NOPE.

I felt really great the whole time!  But somewhere around mile 16, I started to lose steam…. It was there also that the crowd had thinned, and I would go BLOCKS without seeing a smiling face. Brooklyn…. oh man. Manhattan has a lot to live up to! Brooklyn was AMAZEBALLS! Even the Bronx was an intense, fun, ride….

but somewhere around mile 16ish… I lost it. Petered out. I didn’t feel like this was my wall, but it might have been.

Needless to say, I am a nearly-seven-hour Marathoner. But I am still a MARATHONER.

A TWO TIME MARATHONER!

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Someone told me once that all I would amount to was a fat, lazy chick who sat on her couch all day “eating bon-bons” and watching reality tv…. well. TAKE THAT AND SHOVE IT.

I ran TWO MARATHONS.

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With the best support system around!

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And yeah, thats it for me.

No more marathons.

Halfs? Maybe…. well, probably. and all the shorter distances…. but this was my last full.

Once to prove I could do it, and once to prove to myself it wasn’t a fluke.

I am a 2 time marathoner.

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tick tock

Depression really fucking blows.

It has sucked my life force away these last weeks… losing a pet hurts. A Lot more than I anticipated.

Perspective- my younger brother died in March 1997. Surrounded by family, including me. I was 21 and this was the height of my pain up to that point, and beyond as well.  I watched him take his last breaths, I watched his eyes flutter and the breathing stop. I had nightmares and sadness and crying and anger and all the things death of a loved one brings out of us.

And i survived. And lived to tell the tale and aid others who were struggling with loss.

I fancied myself an expert on death and mourning… I mean my people have been slowly dying since I was in about 5th grade…great grandparents, grandparents, aunts, brother…. I really felt I had this whole death and mourning thing down.

Then my cat dies and my world shifts and throws me into Crazytown.  Can’t get through a day without tears, can’t find the motivation to do anything I loved, particularly run.

Eventually, as we know it will, the fog starts to lift, I start to run again….but around every corner of my house is a reminder of my lost girl. And my empty lap.

My lap is so empty.

I fill it with a laptop, and somehow just a few weeks later find myself perusing petfinder…

I cannot bare to get another cat… not now, not yet. But maybe a small dog?

So that happened.

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This is our new family member, Joey McStubbins. He’s a Bagle (Basset Hound/Beagle mix). All the love and all the cuddles… I’m finally feeling like myself, although a little sadder than before.

Running? Well… there are 17 days to go. I feel pretty good. I ran a half in Brooklyn last weekend and managed to shave about 10 min off my previous time……. Rock N Roll Brooklyn Half… was quite a lot of fun!

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Since I did this one all by myself (hubs was camping), I didn’t get any finish line pics… well. Not any I want to share LOL. I look like a hot mess after long distance running!

I’m feeling damn good about November 5, and now that I have my corral and wave assignment… I know shit just got real.

Sadly I am once again in the last wave and last corral…. but whatever. I’ll once again outrun the sweeper bus.

XO

What the crap…

It’s been a hell of a 2 weeks….

  • school started
  • grad school started
  • we went away for a lovely weekend with family and friends where we kayaked our little hearts out                                                                            21034546_10154596101781370_8151685988597644942_n
  • Ate a massive amount of crabs, like with mallets and stuff…. 21078345_10154596507526370_6616495389497698170_n
  • and just basically enjoyed our last summer hurrah
  • I did get in 11 miles…. but it wasn’t pretty or fun…. though not nearly as bad as the last run

 

BUT. We came back and at the end of last week we realized that kitty cat wasn’t eating…. and she had just kind of slowed way down. On Saturday before my long run, I found her curled up in the shower (she has never in 17 years slept in the shower). I knew that was a sign. I scooped her up and brought her downstairs to her favorite chair. Where she stayed for some 4 hours.

We spent that Saturday at the tattoo shop, getting some amazing ink done… step 1 in a larger half sleeve. Though I don’t really feel it, I know I will over the moon in love with it….. I’m just gonna need a little time to heal…. in more ways than one.21231257_10154614014821370_5957816959485103966_n.jpg

After the tattoo, I came home wondering if kitty would be alive. She was, but she refused to eat, and just sat listlessly in my lap. She was purring and seemed not to be in pain, but I knew. The writing had been on the wall since July. It seemed like it was time to call the vet.

Sunday we spent most of the day cuddled up together on her favorite chair. She was still not eating, but she was still purring…I felt like this was her telling me she loved me one last time. Because I knew she didn’t feel well, and I knew… I just knew.

My amazing husband called the vet that morn and we brought her in around 2.

Through my sobs, the vet offered these words

“There is a window of time where it’s not too soon, and it’s not too late. You are in that window now.”

I said goodbye to my beautiful friend….. and 17 years of friendship and love came to an end, at least in this world. My heart is broken. My lap is empty. I don’t honestly know how to live in a world without my pet.

If you have never loved an animal with all your heart, you will not understand, but if you have, then you know. Even as I type, I can’t stop the tears.

So running and training have slipped, as I mourn, but I know I will get my shit together and do it. I just have to be kind to my poor broken heart.

 

RIP my beautiful Chloe girl. 18198777_10154262713701370_4208227268109328668_n (1).jpg

9 miles

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Things to remember:

don’t skip dinner the night before the long run, no matter how upset your stomach feels.

bring extra fuel on the long run even though you’re packing Tailwind (and replace the chews you drop on your way out the door, even if it means starting a few minutes later than planned).

ALWAYS bring a few bucks so you can buy extra water on the way when you run out (thank goodness for that secret $5 bill in the fuel belt) ( and don’t forget to replace the secret $5 bill in the fuel belt).

wear belaga socks on the long run. Your toenails will thank you.

Running skirts are the best.

The Kindness of Strangers

Who knew just a few words from a passing stranger could be the catalyst for getting your mojo back?

I went to Kean U. on Wednesday for a Rick Smith professional development workshop. When it was over, I walked the bazillion steps to my car, turned it on and put all the windows down. While I was getting my gps connected and finding my way home, a man walked by and as he did he called out

“Keep running! I can tell by your bumper stickers!”

and continued on his way.

I yelled out “thank you!”

And that was the end of our interaction.

When I got home I had mulled over the unconditional love of the running community and realized that it had been nearly three weeks since I last ran.

Then I realized that in September I would be coaching a Girls on the Run team. How can I coach girls to run, if I can’t even get my ass outside for a short 2-4 miles??

So I had planned to get up on Thursday, go do my tutoring and hit the park.

But then…. I had a headache Wednesday eve. A terrible migraine. Probably one of the worst I have had in over a year. I tossed and turned all night, alternately sweating and shivering. I woke up with only a tickle of a headache and was able to go about my day. I headed out to tutor.

I decided to come home after and rest for the afternoon….and I did….. but then I realized that some stranger told me to “keep running” ……. FullSizeRender.jpg

so I did.

9 miles coming up this weekend.

I’ve got this.

#vibrantlife

Two Weeks…

was exactly what I needed to reset and recharge…

 

brief recap/photobomb of vacation:

Spent a week visiting my sister and the little hooligans I love so much. I got so much love from them, it’s hopefully enough to sustain me the 6ish months until I see them again!

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We had such a great time with them…. and I loved spending so much time with my sister.  ❤

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After that, husbandface and I drove across the state to visit my dad in West Palm area…. and we, OF COURSE, got some beach time, alligators, and loads of family time.

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Also somewhere in there we took the hooligans to Legoland, where their aunt and uncle took them on all the rides…. these kids freaking love rollar coasters… Oh to have no fear like them!

 

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(fyi- this is what 25 pounds of weight loss looks like! WOOHOO!!)

 

A great trip, in which I didn’t run at all b/c it was basically 90 degrees or higher from the moment i woke up everyday…… Eh. I’ll get back to it this week, now that I’m home and it’s significantly cooler/less humid here!

What a vibrant two weeks! And still 2 weeks left of summer vacation!

WOOHOO!

 

(oh, and kitty update- she is doing just fine and totally made it two weeks without me! I have the best husband ever who took such amazing care of both pets while I was away)

(he came to Florida for the weekend in the middle of the two weeks but the rest of the time he was home)

How Many Steps…?

Some couple friends of mine (as in two people married to each other “couple”) got Garmins…. so now we are  in a steps challenge.

When did I get so god damned competitive?

I am currently 17,000 steps ahead. And I think it ends tomorrow.

This challenge has pushed me to stick to my training so well this week! I managed to meet or exceed my 10,000 steps per day goal 5 out of 7 days- mostly exceeding by 2000-9000 steps. I don’t know what got into me!

But I haven’t felt this good at the end of a week in a while.

Training on track all week, and hit my goal of 7.5 miles today! (which ended up being over 16,000 steps!).

AND my pace wasn’t that bad, and I ran a faster 10k than last time 🙂 I am freaking thrilled.

Tonight movies, tomorrow the beach, and Monday….VACATION.

I plan to take a little running break this first week of vaca, give my achy IT band a little bit o rest….. then hit a couple of short runs the second week when I travel down to South Florida for the remainder of my trip.

Oh man. It’s gonna be FRAKKING HOT down there!

Cannot wait to get away! It may be a solid two weeks before I post again, but have no fear, if something awesome happens, I’ll try to get something posted from my phone. xoxo

Also, please, everyone say a little prayer that kitty doesn’t decide to cross the bridge while I’m away……please.

Thanks!

Keep it Vibrant!